THIS MIGHT BE RANDOM: PURGATORY BLUES VOL. 1

THIS MIGHT BE RANDOM: PURGATORY BLUES VOL. 1

I try my best to be concise as a writer, I swear I do. All killer, no filler if you will. I also try to have direction, it’s kind of important. That’s why I always start a piece with destination in mind, a place for the words to journey off to. Or, at least that’s how I wrote before 2020, and lately I’m barely writing at all. You’d wouldn’t be off base right now to assume that I don’t have a point to all this, cause I don’t.

Great start, man.

Thanks, I thought so too! That’s the last time I’ll talk to myself, scout’s honor. The truth is, I haven’t been writing much cause I haven’t really known what in the wild blue fuck to say. In case you just woke up from a coma, or just washed up on a shore somewhere after floating aimlessly across the Atlantic for the last year and a half, the world is kind of on fire. That’s not even hyperbole- the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire and we don’t need no water cause motherfuckin’ water is a liberal lizard conspiracy fluid infested with nanochips that’ll make ya want to wear ladies underwear. We’re burning, literally and metaphorically, it’s inescapable and ever-present. So, while I’ve had plenty to say, it’s not been easy to figure out how to say it.

Or, more specifically, who the hell to say it TO. Everyone’s angry. Ok, that’s obvious in a “Greyhound bus rolling over your exposed shins” kind of way. Everyone’s, like, REAL angry. And an alarming amount of us are angry for completely terrible and disgusting reasons. Smart people are mad at stupid people, stupid people are mad at smart people. Rich against poor, black against white, are puppies and kitties fighting now or is that not a thing yet? I digress. You couldn’t cut the tension in any given public space with a fucking laser torch cause it’s entirely too thick, and almost physical, visceral. Almost everything is offensive to SOMEBODY, and almost every conversation you hear is peppered with fear, uncertainty, and vitriol.

It’s almost like we’ve lost the ability to generate positivity outside of inspirational quotes that NEVER STOP on Facebook and crap.

Seriously, if I start conjuring up my positive energy from fucking Facebook quotes you have full permission to punch me in the face, standing offer. Anywho, despite an absolute embarrassment of riches when it comes to opinions about current world affairs I’ve remained fairly quiet about shit recently and the answer is simple- I don’t feel like fucking fighting with anyone. Plus, I’ve got a business to run and two kiddos to keep alive while DIPSHITS across America, The Beautiful threaten their very existence by being afwaid of a wittle needle. It’s (spoiler alert) fucking exhausting just being a person these days without the added stress of getting yelled at by one of these suburban ‘freedom fighters” who think their Constitutional right to be a FUCKING MORON is more important than billions of human lives. Or the “I’m more enlightened than you and here’s a diatribe about how” crowd, they’re fun. Christ.

Point is, it doesn’t seem to matter much WHAT you say, or what side of the moral fence you’re standing on- every fucking word out of a person’s mouth is like a ticking time bomb just itching to detonate, and it’s only getting worse. I’m not even sure how the hell we COULD make it any better now that everyone’s gotten a taste for blood. The old shit ain’t gonna cut it anymore, we’re ALL sharks now. We’re not looking for common ground, we’re reaching for our knives. There’s no discourse, no dialogue, it’s all just screaming now. We don’t care about our fellow man, we’re out for ourselves and FUCK everyone else. Pandemic, schmandemic! I wanna drink Bud Light in public cause it’s MY RIGHT AS AN AMERICAN AND I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT NOBODY’S KIDS!!!

Gross. That last bit made me throw up a little bit in my mouth.

See, I’ve already lost my admittedly-loose grip on the point! I guess what I’m saying is, everyone’s fucking insane and I’ve got plenty to say about it all but almost everything has the potential to start a full-scale war, my existential fear is creeping back up by the day, and I just haven’t felt much like expressing my thoughts publicly for fear of a torch mob of dudes that look like Mitt Romney assembling in my driveway to drag me off to “libtard conversion therapy” or whatever the fuck it is they do. That seems possible.

We’ve been hanging in there, trying to build The Ghost Generation, find the right next steps, all the stuff that comes with having a fledgling business in the Pandemic Age. Our kids are healthy, and everyone’s as happy as you can likely be considering the world is plunging ever-further into chaos and panic. We have good days, we have bad days, we have days when we’re lucky enough to get to shut it all of for a little while, and we have days where we wonder how the hell we’re gonna make it all work in this mess we’re living with. Sometimes I can’t sleep, all times I worry about my children, and I’m pretty sure that was grammatically incorrect but who cares?! Pretty soon we’ll all be driving dune buggies and wearing animal pelts as clothes so screw it!

They say it’s the loudest voices with the worst things to say and I think we can all agree that that’s a fact, but never has it been more readily apparent than now. The hive rushed the drones back to work, sent their kids back to school, and here we are again. Surprise! The fucking virus is up to its old tricks again, it’s gotten stronger, and half of us will be too stupid to try to stop it and we’re ALL gonna lose because of it! My brain can’t even process flawed logic this so badly FLAWED. I’m getting annoyed just fucking talking about it all, JESUS!

Calm down, you did CHOOSE to write this.

Fair enough, and astute. I think I’m just sick of EVERYONE. I’m sick of all the fighting, all the trolling, all the yelling. I’m tired of looking over my shoulder, checking the locks twice, hugging my children (who I already hug as much as humanly possible without stunting their emotional development) three times as hard before they leave every morning cause the world is terrifying. I’m sick of somebody finding the darkness in the brightest of places, of people tearing each other down instead of lifting each other up, and of ignorance costing us more and more lives by the day.

So I’m trying, that’s why I’m here now. Believe it or not, besides the big-ass paychecks I actually write like this cause it helps me out a little. I’ll probably always be a trainwreck, especially with all this uncertainty floating around, but maybe putting pen to paper will help it to ease up a little. I don’t care what anyone thinks anyway, it’s just been tough to want to say anything with the global conversation being so god damned flammable. It’s really starting to sink in that almost everyone is full of shit in some way, even people you’d have never thought that of in the past.

I’m not entirely sure where I was trying to go here, but I do know that I have plenty to say and I intend to do just that. I’d hate to give it all up now though, so I’m going to go rest that anxious brain of mine for a few minutes but I’ll be chiming in here more in the coming weeks so, if you’re into that sort of thing you’ll be happy to hear that more is on the way. If not, I get it- I’m an acquired taste. Your homework for the weekend? Kindness, as much as you can. Give it wherever you can, for no reason other than the sheer act of it. You’ll feel better, and maybe someone else will too.

PS- This post wasn’t about the shop, and I do my best to separate art from commerce wherever I can, but I couldn’t cap off the week without mentioning that we’d love to see your lovely faces at the Smyrna Handmade Market this Sunday and you can grab the details on the Events page right here! No shame, this guy. 😉

AFH

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