NO, YOU’RE HIGH: MUSINGS FROM BEING STONED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY/CANTO #5

NO, YOU’RE HIGH: MUSINGS FROM BEING STONED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY/CANTO #5

You know what’s awesome about having your own business? Well, there are a LOT of reasons why it’s awesome to do your own thing, and it’s also pretty tough if you’re not completely committed to the cause which I point out here. Don’t want anyone thinking I’m selling rainbows and bunnies here, it ain’t easy but it does come with some excellent perks, one of which being that I can be stoned off my face if I so choose and still perform every single function of my business. This? Writing? That’s part of the business, and I could do this on LSD if I wanted to, but I DON’T cause nobody needs that and I have a sneaking suspicion that I wouldn’t react kindly to it if I put that shit in my body right now. Making jewelry? Perfect, after I smoke weed my brain goes into fucking madness mode and I get INSANELY creative. I hear the best guitar riffs ever written in my head, I see colors and patterns I might not see normally, I get super-relaxed and don’t worry if I make a mistake. Essentially, I turn into “SUPER CREATOR!!!” and I’ve made some pretty rad shit while under the spell of Mary Jane.

I triple dog dare you to say “Mary Jane” and NOT hear that song in your head. Go ahead, TRY.

Business-ass shit like taxes, bookkeeping, etc.? I got it, ALL DAY. It might be a planet-sized bummer to do it, but i’ll jump on it if necessary- I’m just sayin’, it’s 100% something I could do stoned even if I SUPER don’t want to. So there you have it, I can do stuff just fine while stoned. Cool story, Steve.

So, since it’s a lovely Friday morning and all that work we’re doing right this minute is “behind the scenes” stuff that I can’t show you or talk about yet- I’m going to dazzle you with a mental download of all the junk mail I have floating around up in my brain bowl, cause it’s Friday. Nobody gives a shit about anything on Friday, or maybe you’re well-adjusted and care all the time.

Anywho, you’re welcome:

  1. While we’re talking about perks, one of the fucking best perks of being 40 is that I completely, 100% don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about me in any way. My wife loves me for some reason and my kids think I’m funny, anything outside of that has no place in my head or anyone else’s either for that matter. Which brings me to number two-
  2. I like what I fucking like, and I don’t care who knows it nor do I care what they think about it. Here’s a stunner for ya- I LOVE LIMP BIZKIT! HERESY! SHOCK AND DISMAY! Yeah, I fucking do, I know what I said and I said it! See, I have this fantastic ability where I can kind of mentally “weed out” elements I don’t like out of shit that I DO like. Sure, Fred Durst can be a fucking dipshit but I don’t really care about what he’s doing cause that rhythm section is fucking on FIRE. John Otto plays HARD and that dude just lays BEATS, the combination is fantastic. Sam Rivers is a DAMN accomplished bass player, and I fucking LOVE Wes Borland. Fred Durst could be reading his grocery list for all I care, the music is dope and that’s fucking enough for me.
  3. I don’t give a FUCK about cred, from anyone. The same guy who just professed his undying love for Limp Bizkit is the same dude who interviewed Propagandhi and Nathan Gray for this very site (RIP all posts before 2021, sad face), loves Ghostface Killah, and super-loves the shit out of the movie Twister with 100% unironic abandon. See, I can like punk rock, hip-hop, and whatever the fuck else I want to because I’m not trying to be anything to anyone- I’m just me, I don’t have to try to do shit. The other day while I was running I bounced from Atmosphere (hip-hop) to Darkthrone (Norwegian black metal) right into Ludovico Einaudi (instrumental/piano- he’s amazing) without so much as a thought. To quote Nick Miller from New Girl, “I dress like an unsponsored professional skateboarder”, I’m deeply neurotic and totally weird, and I like to make swirly, sparkly-ass jewelry and put toilet words on the internet. FUCK YEAH! Do you, you’re the only person who has to walk around being you so don’t fuck it up by being ANYTHING, liking ANYTHING, or thinking ANYTHING you don’t want to.
  4. You know that Ranch seasoning stuff they sell by the popcorn at the store? I put that shit on everything. I mean it, that’s not an embellishment for the sake of the article, I put that shit on EVERYTHING. It’s perfect on chicken, beef, pork, salmon, fucking everything. And yeah, it’s my preferred popcorn seasoning as well although my wife HATES the way it smells on popcorn. She REALLY hates it, so I only make it during lunar weeks and I call it “Hate Corn”. Do you feel that? That warm, tingly feeling? That’s what it feels like to have your mind blown by learning about my seasoning preferences.
  5. I also fucking love video games. When we started The Ghost Generation it was just a blog and while I did my usual rantings and interviews, I also did Switch reviews (my platform of choice). So, if it wasn’t clear before- we love video games around here and you can usually find my wife and I snuggled up somewhere with our Switches in our hands- her playing Animal Crossing and me knee-deep in a farm sim. I’m usually the Dead Cells/Binding of Isaac kind of guy but I also DEEPLY love Minecraft and right now I’ve found myself SUPER into Story of Seasons: Friends of Mineral Town, Rune Factory 4 Special, and Farm Together (underrated and TOTALLY awesome). Maybe it’s my subconscious telling me I need to slow down once in a while, who knows. Whatever the reason, farm sims fucking rule and I’m literally playing Story of Seasons right now, ’bout to harvest some eggplant.
  6. I will, until the day I die, be terrible at folding laundry. Like, even when I TRY to do it well I’m bad at it. It must be genetic, cause I even worked in retail briefly a few times in my life and I thought I’d really learned a thing or two about folding a fuckin’ shirt. I guess I was mistaken, or my wife just REALLY dislikes the way I fold in a frightening and visceral way, but regardless- I suck.
  7. I’ve learned a lot about myself during this pandemic and the journey of starting a business, and one of those things is that joggers are the greatest pants innovation of our time, and all pants should come with the option to roll them up like joggers. They’re like variable-comfort super pants, and I don’t care what anyone says- you can pull them off dressy with JUST the right top, but that top’s gotta be on point. Joggers are awesome because they hang with you even when you throw on a pound or two during quarantine, they don’t abandon you like your JEANS do. And when you drop the weight, they’re still right there next to ya, cause they’re the “ride or die” of the clothing world and I applaud them for their excellence.
  8. I figure by now you’re either totally over this, or you’ve somehow invested and you want to hear more- I’ll please the entire group (that’s what she said) by doing a lightning round and taking my leave. Let’s see- my favorite animal at the zoo is the giant-ass snapping turtle that’s always almost entirely obscured from view by a large log. You can usually JUST see his foot, so it’s like you know he’s not hiding…he’s waiting. That’s metal. I wish pasta was the healthiest food on Earth and compatible with every meal/time of day. I don’t have “celebrity heroes”, but if I did George Carlin would be all of them. My favorite books from when I was a kid read more like the book club syllabus found in the suspects house in some 90’s cop thriller like Seven on something- “The Divine Comedy”, “Paradise Lost”, Nietzche- I really fucking got in there, and without the need for severed heads everywhere. My wife and I watch Wayne’s World at least once a month, and have for many years now. And, if you saw us in person for more than ten seconds you’d probably hear ONE of us quote from it too. We’re dorks, and we fucking love Wayne’s World AND Wayne’s World 2. Christoper Walken is even terrifying in THIS universe. I love dope shoes. if I could, I’d have as many shoes as a major-label rapper but I wouldn’t throw them out after I wore them once, I’d keep those motherfuckers cause that shit’s WASTEFUL.

There, and now I’m out! I’m gonna go watch what I’m 99% sure is the ONE horror movie on Netflix I haven’t seen yet, put some clear-coat on a piece I’m working on, and enjoy my fucking Friday. You do the same, whatever yours looks like, and you should definitely sneak out of work early if you’re on the fence about it. 🙂

PS- Go buy something from the shop so my kids can stop playing with cans in backyard! Just kidding, do it cause RAD STUFF is reason enough!

AFH

The Ghost Generation makes rad jewelry for equally rad people. Also, we write stuff occasionally. Est. August 2019.

Etsy.com/shop/TheGhostGeneration

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