I’m starting to realize I’m not really giving you anything healthy out of all of these money-saving meals. I don’t really know what to do about that because the healthiest thing you can make is a salad which, if you can use a knife you can chop shit and add it to a big bowl with lettuce. There. Salad.
This month’s recipe however can feed a family of four no problem with leftovers. So get your big boy pants on with the elasticated waist because here’s my recipe for:
HEART-ATTACK CHEESE TORTILLAS
WHAT YOU’LL NEED:
- One pack of medium flour tortillas
- One big bag of shredded cheese
- One large red onion
- Sour cream
- One can of condensed mushroom soup
- Diced jalapeños
- One can of sliced black olives
HOW TO MAKE THIS RECIPE YOUR BITCH:
Take a big baking dish and spray with canola oil. This prevents any tortillas from sticking to the bottom of it as the success of this dish is based on getting these fuckers out at the end. You don’t want to put in all this hard work and then basically piss all over the floor at the finale. People won’t respect you and pets will avoid eye contact with you.
Dice the red onion and put aside in a bowl. Empty the can of condensed mushroom soup in a saucepan and heat on low. Instead of water, fill the can with milk and add that to the soup. Add 1/4 cup of sour cream and stir until soup becomes smooth. Drain the can of sliced black olives and add to the soup. Put half of that mixture in the baking dish and set aside the rest.
This is the fun part where you can drag your kids into the creative process, whether they want to be involved or not. Their tiny little hands are perfect. Take a tortilla, add LOTS of cheese, add some of the red onion, roll up and place in the baking dish on that lovely bed of soup. Keep going until the baking dish is full with these cholesterol inciting beauties and then pour the remaining soup mixture on top. Add diced jalapeños and some more shredded cheese to the top of the whole thing and place in a pre-heated oven on 375 degrees for 35 minutes.
Now, here’s the thing – you can ADD anything (within fucking reason. Do NOT add Frosted Flakes) to the insides of these tortillas: shrimp, beef, pork, chicken, tofu (if you’re so inclined…but, really, why?). I’m just a huge fan of cheese which is why I’ve kept it as basic as possible. If you want to make it spicier, add chili powder to the soup mixture.
Basically what I’m saying is you can add whatever the fuck you want to this within reason.
Good luck pooping after this. – FemaleGG.
A blog/website where these happily married, 30-something parents of 2 little minions rant, rave, and speak in tongues. Raw, honest, and riddled with profanity. Get on board and let’s make The Ghost Generation awesome together! http://theghostgeneration.com Twitter.com/Gh0stGeneration