I’ve given you a month to make the Spaghetti Bolognese recipe several times so hopefully you didn’t fuck it up too bad. Maybe you made it your own and threw in that cilantro you were itching to add.
Nobody likes cilantro, Debbie!
Moving on. For this one you’re going to need a big pot again. While it’s still cold out, my kids clamor for this soup over and over and, because it’s SO chockful of vegetables, I will never not make it for them. So, with that being said:
FEMALE GG’S BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUP
WHAT YOU’LL NEED:
- Two large butternut squashes
- One container of Chicken stock (or vegetable stock if you want to go full vegetarian)
- One large red onion
- Seven large carrots
- Heavy whipped cream
- 1/2 tsp Onion powder
- 1/2 tsp Cinnamon
- Salt and pepper
HOW TO MAKE THIS RECIPE YOUR BITCH:
First, prepare the butternut squash. I HATE this part with a passion because it involves slimy seeds and me not having a sharp enough spoon.
“Get a sharper spoon!”
“Fuck you Captain Obvious.”
Pre-heat the oven to 400 degrees F and get out a baking tray that when swung could kill a grown man. Cut the butternut squashes in half vertically, spoon the seeds out and lay the halves (there should be four because, Math) face up on the baking tray. Using one of those kitchen paintbrush thingies, put olive oil all over the face of the squashes. Imagine it’s like you’re giving them a spa day. Sprinkle salt over them and then turn them over. They should go in the oven for at least an hour but I’ve found typically 75 minutes gets rid of all the hard bits.
About 30 minutes into the squash cooking time, peel the carrots, slice them and boil them for 40 minutes. During the peeling process, your fingers will turn orange, eliciting Oompa Loompa comparisons from your significant other. Tell him or her that you’ll send them where all the bad eggs go.
About 45 minutes into the squash cooking time, peel and cube the red onion, adding it to a pot with about two tablespoons of olive oil. You’ll want to put this on low heat for about 20 minutes. You see what I’m doing here, right? All of these things are going to be ready at the exact same time, causing absolute chaos in the kitchen and your four year old will choose that exact moment to come over and tell you a long involved story that requires your full attention. Meanwhile, her younger brother will decide throwing Hot Wheels at the wall is a fun new game. I’m keeping you on your toes.
Drain the carrots and add them to the pot with the cooking onion. The butternut squash, once pulled out of the oven will be piping hot which, when handled, is a good thing if you’re on the lam and want to get rid of those pesky fingerprints. I’ve found holding the outside of the squash with a wad of paper towels while spooning the yummy bits into the pot does wonders. Add the onion powder and cinnamon. Finally, add the chicken stock and now, here comes the magic. We have a Cuisinart hand blender which I absolutely adore and which you can get from Amazon, Target, etc. and is fairly cheap for what it is (should be less than $50). Blend that sucker up until it actually resembles soup, add about a 1/4 cup of heavy cream, stir, and it’s ready to serve. Recommended additions are grated gouda and sour cream. Recommended sitting positions are at the kitchen table. Don’t eat with a fork. You’re welcome. – FemaleGG
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