That shit ain’t clickbait folks, I might be a fully functioning grown-up out here in society but what you read is correct- I despise the entire capitalist system we’re currently drowning in, I don’t believe in government, and I believe that there is a better way for life to be lived.

This one ought to weed out the alt-righters & billionaires.

Cause FUCK those abortions gone wrong, and fuck Jeff Bezos, and fuck every god damn motherfucking one of “them”. Want me to play nice? Tough shit, cause this world hasn’t played nice with US in a long fucking time. I’ll leave the “nice” to the people that kiss “their” asses. Nearly nobody is exempt from from my loathing in 2019 and instead of posting my “Best Shit of 2019” article JUST yet I figured I’d get a little venom out. It’s Saturday, Hail Satan.

You’re probably wondering where the hell I get off calling myself an anarchist, I get it. I work, I have a wife and kids, we live in a nice house- etc. etc. etc. How can you be an anarchist and NOT be flinging molotov cocktails, printing zines, or taking to the streets with rocks and bricks in hand? Well, it’s easy- because I fucking SAY SO. The only real qualification I ever knew about was not believing in government so that’s enough for me. I don’t need to prove how hardcore I am, I spent almost 30 years doing that shit and I’m tired.

Everything is sick.

Shit, there was a time in my life when I would have automatically assumed 39 year-old me was a total fucking sellout, having a “job” like some kind of asshole. Living in a “good neighborhood” and having “kids”. I get it, I really do. But here’s the thing, as my life has evolved, and grown, my beliefs haven’t fundamentally changed. I’m still the kid with green hair on the inside, he’s just learned that vomiting PBR ’til 4 AM every night isn’t the path to enlightenment he thought it might be. Instead of throwing rocks at cops, I’m throwing a Disney Princess soccer ball at my toddlers. I’m finding things like Frozen 2 and a nice cappuccino delightful, but that doesn’t fucking mean my convictions are any different. If anything, advancing through “adulthood” has only SHARPENED my edges. It’s probably because instead of living on the fringe, I’m fully in the fray and the shameful state of our culture is right in front of my fucking face every time I leave the house to do grown-up shit.

Nothing will ever change the fact that I don’t believe in this shit-show we call a government, or ANY government for that matter. I wasn’t born with the need to be RULED that so many of us seem to be walking around with in this world, and my moral compass reads just fine without being told how to calibrate the motherfucker. I don’t need someone to control me, I don’t need someone to tell me how to think, and I certainly DON’T need anyone telling me who, what, when, or where my genitals go. I’m a fully-functioning, definitely-not-a-murderer, “trying to be the best dad I can be” kinda guy and it’s not because I’m being TOLD any of that. It’s because I’ve decided to be a person who uses his brain, and my brain does a pretty good job of keeping my pants zipped in public, and trying to drive the speed limit at LEAST once a year.

Speaking of driving- how long do you think it’ll be before the House of Representatives are wearing sponsor logos like fucking Nascar drivers? “God, Guns, and Gatorade: Presenting YOUR State Representatives!”- it won’t be fucking long. Mark my words. Vince McMahon would eat that shit for BREAKFAST.

Campaign finance reform, bitches.

Anyway, all that being said, if it hasn’t been clear so far I’m not the biggest fan of authority. Like I said, I have no desire to be ruled by another person/s, so authority of any kind is in direct opposition to my very nature. This is RIGHT around the point where some people (probably not you) give me the whole “how does everything work without a government?” speech and if you’ve ever seen it happen I’m sure you can see my eyes start to glaze right the fuck over and roll back into my head. The truth is, I don’t know. Gasp! It’s true, I don’t have an “Action Plan For A Government-Free World”, but I’m not claiming to have all the answers either. I know this though, I know I want to live in a world where we can come together and figure out how to live as a world family without needing corporate overlords telling us who we can fuck, marry, or pray to and watching our every move. Imagine that. A few billion people just saying “We got this. Shit is broken, but we have come together and we can find a way to better things”. I can imagine it, and it’s light years better than this “Congress, brought to you by Hardee’s Thickburgers!” situation it feels like we’re living in.

I’ll gloss over the teeny-weeny details of everything, but the distilled truth is that we’re living in a country that somehow thinks hundreds of millions of people can be broken down into two core political belief systems. Two very much OPPOSED belief systems, by the way. Democrat and Republican, that’s the two lines of thought that embody everyone’s best intentions and that’s how we shall divide the government. That’s it, we’re all either “Garth Brooks” or “Lady Gaga” and there’s no fucking in between. Deer hunting or vegan hot dogs, Wranglers or cargo pants, mullets or dreadlocks- fuck, I’m having WAY too much fun coming up with these comparisons and I fear for the safety of this article. Course correct!

Garbage in, garbage out.

So they let us vote for these creeps so we think we’re empowered, being good citizens, and part of the greater Democracy exercising their fundamental freedoms and rights. Here’e the rub though- democracy is a fucking SHAM. “By the people, for the people” does not exist in 2019 because we’ve allowed it to become “Fuck the people, this shit is for THE FEW”. The rich run the roost, the corporations control our consumption, and religion and country radio keep everyone drinking Bud Light and praying on Sundays. It’s a fucking joke and you all know it. It’s a joke that keep us stupid, it’s a lie that keeps us complacent, and it ALL comes together to forma beef stew of ignorant bliss that I refuse to fucking eat. Fuck all of it, I don’t want it. Christ, there’s even verbiage in the FUCKING CONSTITUTION that essentially states ” we don’t want power being in the hands of the unwashed masses so we need to keep it in the hands of the few”. That’s not verbatim but I’ve had a few mimosas- don’t judge. Kids. 🙂

SO here we are, living in a divided world, divide further every day, inching ever closer to some kind of nuclear winter with a side order of corporate sponsorship and we’re all just supposed to go along with it like good little rats well FUCK THAT.

I’m probably not cut out to be the “anarchy poster boy”.

It’s true. There are better, stronger, and more committed people than me. if you’ve been paying attention you’ll know that one of my favorite bands of all time is Propagandhi. Probably the most stunning, technically ridiculous, and activism-forward bands of the last 30 years. This ain’t “throwing bottles” shit- Chris Hannah & co. are fucking ACTIVISTS, doing activist shit, and at least twice a month I “decide to be vegan” while listening to them on a run. Of course, I’ma. fucking pussy and I’m currently NOT vegan but it speaks volumes that a punk band can so STRONGLY make even ME question what the fuck I’m doing. Every time I listen to “Purina Hall of Fame” I cry a little, I get mad A LOT, and I’ ready to fucking blow shit up.

The point is, I’m not sitting here saying I’m the most die-hard bastard around, cause I’m not. I’m sure I do enough shit that excludes me from the anointed club of purists but I still believe I’m deserving of my place at the “fuck the government” club. I’m not perfect and I’m not fronting like it either. I’m flawed, I’m human, and I’m mad as a motherfucker and- more importantly, I’M TRYING. I’m trying to be better, I’m trying to raise awareness, and I’ trying to bring people together under some kind of banner that says “YOU DON’T GET TO BOX ME IN!”. Maybe I’m full of shit, who knows?

What I DO know, is that we’re living in a rigged fucking game, and it’s a game that none of “us” are set up to win. So I don’t fucking want it, I don’t fucking idolize it, and I don’t fucking buy into it. FUCK your government, FUCK your religion, and if you don’t like it- feel free to never read my shit again, unfollow me, whatever you need to do. This is not for you. This is for those of us who have seen the system tell us “we don’t want you”, this is for everyone who has ever felt “less-than” cause of this fucked-up society we have settled for. Don’t like it? Fuck off.

Seriously, I don’t need ya.

I remember when Nirvana broke, and all of a sudden the kids who were formerly beating the shit out of me were magically wanting to hang out with me. Fucking posers, it makes me sick just thinking about it. This is the same thing, I don’t need Twitter followers so badly that I’m willing to have shit-show Republicans in my follower count If you’re not on board, I’m down for a dialogue but at the end of the day- I’m for the lost, I’m for the broken, and I’m for the ones the system has thrown away. I’m for YOU, cause I know none of those pricks are reading this shit. I believe in HUMANITY, I believe in the TRUTH, and I believe we are fundamentally able to figure this shit out without a crown-wearing shithead telling us what to do. It’s not anarchy like Malcolm McClaren was selling, it’s anarchy on a cellular level. It doesn’t NEED a battle vest, or a mohawk, or a Molotov cocktail. Consider me “the people’s anarchist”, I kinda like that in fact. Fuck being governed, fuck being controlled, and FUCK you if you think otherwise.

The thing is, if we don’t keep a little power for ourselves than what are we fucking DOING anyway? Working til we’re 70, playing some shuffleboard, and fucking dying off quietly and unassumingly? Grateful to our corporate masters for LETTING us work for them and wasting our lives for THEIR WALLETS? Fuck that, straight to hell with that shit. I want to resist, I want to stand up, and I want a chance to live in a world that isn’t interested in domination. I want love, I want peace, and I know we can do it. Maybe we just need to wait out the “old white motherfuckers”, maybe we need a lot more than that, maybe I don’t know SHIT. Somebody somewhere is probably calling me a fucking fake piece of shit right now, and that’s fine. I just know what I believe in, and I think it is just. Don’t agree? Let me know, I’m down for a dialogue s long as it’s A DIALOGUE.

Speaking of, I also want to clear the air about something cause it really fucking bothered me. I had a “follower” on Twitter for a little while who I had some really good conversations with and I thought was a like-minded person. Yesterday, he posted something saying ‘all white people are racist” and I replied that I didn’t agree. I explained that I’m not racist, I don’t believe in racism, and that I was raising my kids to be non-racist too. He then said that my comment was “proving his point” and promptly told me to fuck off.

What a shit-bag.

I was stunned, literally. How fucking DARE you say that ALL WHITE PEOPLE are racist and NOT expect me to have something to say about it? This was a person I’ve had a dialogue with, who followed us on Twitter, who SEEMED like a good person. The dialogue quickly turned to pure hatred, and BLIND hatred at that, The worst fucking kind. So, I blocked the fucking asshole and FUCK HIM. YOU’RE the problem motherfucker, not me. I’m peddling kindness, truth, and equality, and you’re boxing us all in with your ignorance. Dialogue turned to rhetoric turned to hate, in the blink of an eye.

Long story short, fuck that guy and FUCK HATE. I’m down to to talk, I’m down to listen, but don’t fuck with me. I’ll eat your fucking soul. Now, I’m still a little buzzed, the kids are napping, and I want to play come fucking video games so ADIOS for now. Go be kind to each other, it’s wonderful.

A brand new blog/website where these happily married, 30-something parents of 2 little minions rant, rave, and speak in tongues. Raw, honest, and riddled with profanity. Get on board and let’s make The Ghost Generation awesome together!


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