FINDING YOUR TRIBE

Look at those boys – aw!

After a Christmas week where all four members of the family were suffering from varying degrees of sickness we emerged from the house on Saturday in a vain attempt to feel human again. The kids ran off some steam and were surprisingly good there for a while. And as we were just going in to afternoon nap time back at home I got a text. My friend Nash was heading down from Canada to Florida on vacation and was 20 minutes away and wanted to stop by. Boys. They give you lots of notice 🙂

To give you the backstory on my formative high school years it starts and ends with two boys: Nash and Blake. I was an English girl with culture shock after only moving to Canada four months before and they were two VERY sweet boys who were in most of my classes. I formed female friendships to add to the three but those boys were in it from Day One. We played on swing sets and made each other laugh. Blake and I had a competition to build the best website on Geocities. For all you “kids” out there that was a free web hosting service where you could build a website using HTML code. I’ve heard that coding is cool now so look at that, we were ahead of our time.

We inherited more boys in eleventh grade which drew a sigh of relief from Nash and Blake. There’s only so many hours you can sit outside a girls’ bathroom waiting for all of your friends to come out. And together we were 15 people deep. Ready to profess our undying love for each other. Partying like our livers were young and reckless (which they were. Effectively we were drinking almost poison in some cases). During one party held by our friend, Jon, things got a bit out of control when news traveled around town FAST that his parents were on vacation and the house was packed within the hour. The 15 of us ended up in a spare room on another floor just waiting them out and, despite a rager going on downstairs, we had more fun in that room than any of those jokers.

I’ve lain in the middle of the road on a grassy median at midnight in downtown Toronto, taken late night GO trains home, raided caterer kitchens at 3:00 a.m. (it was legit, one of my best friend’s mom’s was a caterer), drank, danced and loved fiercely. I’ve also had full-on conversations with people from across the room and a particularly awful house party without ever saying a word.

I unfortunately was plucked out of that warm, safe atmosphere my senior year of high school to the other side of the continent where my dad had taken another new job. Devastated was putting it lightly. In my 17 year old world they were everything.

I’ve been back for major life events and there was a time early on where I had a layover in Toronto while heading to England. And they showed up to keep me company for a couple of hours:

I fucking found this picture in the bowels of my hard drive. And disregard the time stamp. I could never figure out who to get that to work on my analog camera.

They then returned the favor, coming down for my wedding, with Nash and the best partner in the world, Ashley flying in for just 24 hours as their daughter’s first birthday was the day before.

Which brings us back to today. Nash, Ashley and his three kids spent 45 minutes in my living room on their way down to Florida. I got to see my daughter play with his daughters. I got a huge hug from one of the best hug givers in the world (thank you Ashley) and I got to feel the same about my Nash, my friend that I have for what will be 25 years next year.

I was SO lucky to meet these boys and I’m aware that not everyone finds their tribe that young but I encourage everyone to do so no matter how old you are. It makes you a happier person to know that it exists when you’re feeling lonely or isolated. We’re slowly building a new tribe with other parents and it’s nice to hang out with others who are in the same boat (like when you have six adults and five kids running around your house and somehow you can still carry on a conversation while simultaneously changing a diaper on one kid while handing a tissue to another.

Find your tribe – the ones that don’t judge you, know exactly what you look like when you’re at your worst, make you laugh when you really need to pee and love you for all of your idiosyncrasies. They’re the best ones.

FemaleGG

A brand new blog/website where these happily married, 30-something parents of 2 little minions rant, rave, and speak in tongues. Raw, honest, and riddled with profanity. Get on board and let’s make The Ghost Generation awesome together! http://theghostgeneration.com Twitter.com/Gh0stGeneration

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