With the amount of stress, fear, and uncertainty we’re all currently trying to process on a daily basis I shall not lie- it’s fucking tough to muster up the will to write some days. I LOVE doing this too, so that should tell you a little something about what my mental state looks like right now. Shit, this is even THERAPEUTIC for me and I can barely get myself into the zone to fucking do it right now. I feel like I’m in this shitty Purgatory, stuck in the middle of something with the world I once knew erased and a new one full of darkness ahead. The worst part is, nearly none of it is within my control, and all the chaos is the result of ignorant people doing ignorant things- and playing with all of our lives in the process.

The leaders aren’t leading. That’s just a fucking fact. All those people throughout my life who told me I was “too anti authoritarian” oughtta be sticking a foot or two in their mouths right now, because where the FUCK are those leaders everyone puts so much faith in now?

I’m gonna print a bunch of these and hand them out whenever somebody says something dumb as hell that has no rational argument in my general area for the remainder of 2020. Gonna need a lot of paper.

They’re fucking NOWHERE, and they’ve abandoned us to venture out in the name of capitalism, get sick, and fucking die. For what? The fuckin’ economy? A soulless machine that knows no compassion and is unable to think? Sounds about right. While we’re at it, let’s throw those fucking little kids back into school- fuck it! Let’s see how sick and stressed out we can make an already sick and stressed out nation, that’ll be fun right?! These must be the things that go through Mitch McConnell’s head while he masturbates, and you can thank me later for conjuring up THAT image in your head.

You’re welcome.

Nationwide guidance and detailed information? Fuck that! Let’s just throw the onus on the states! God forbid we actually formulate a plan for all this shit, passing the buck is the American motherfucking way! Yeehaw! I’m getting angry just WRITING about this shit. I’m getting MORE angry as I realize it’s only getting worse, day by day by day. I’m fucking angry that nobody we’ve given “power” to gives a FUCK about us and that we can’t even manage to make fucking police reform happen in a meaningful way through weeks of protesting. 2020, the year of upheaval and diminishing diminished returns. The year the short end of the stick was the only firewood available.

Nothing is changing, nothing is getting better, and the dead stuffed animal we call “President” couldn’t give a fuck less if his own golf cart was on fire to do anything from a place of compassion, humility, or genuine concern for the wellbeing of others. Fucking piece of shit’s GOLFING while a pandemic rages on throughout the country, getting worse because he wants to get re-elected.

I hope this is making you sick, cause it should be.

Don’t get me wrong, I strive to entertain, enlighten, and have fun with my writing but I’m also here to give you the real shit. The truth around us is uncomfortable, and if you’re uncomfortable right now that means you have a soul. Congrats, you’re not one of the bloodless skin-husks plummeting us right back to the Dark Ages! You have a heart, and perhaps more importantly in 2020- you have a BRAIN. Something would be fundamentally wrong with you if you DIDN’T feel a little sick every time you look at the news right now, so give yourself a pat on the back for not being human garbage. Hey, we gotta embrace the small fucking victories this year, right?

Don’t stop there though, I don’t have a lot of answers to any of this shit but I know that getting complacent isn’t one of them. The smart and kind and compassionate people of this world need to remain vigilant, keep the wits sharpened, and keep those fucking fists in the air. Remember, they WANT us dead. They WANT racism. They WANT inequality. They WANT persecution of LGBTQIA+ people and minorities. They WANT TO CONTROL US. THEY WANT TO CONTROL US. THEY FUCKING WANT TO CONTROL US.

Imagine though, just for a fraction of a second, that we ALL decided to stand up. What if we ALL said “NO MORE!” to all this shit? What if we ALL decided to not sit down in our cubicles and take it rough from these pieces of petulant excrement? What if we ALL said, together, “WE WANT A BETTER WORLD AND WE”RE NOT GONNA STOP UNTIL WE GET IT!”?

I need to believe that we’re not all too subjugated to take our power back one day.

Imagine the beauty of living in a world that isn’t beholden to the whims of a powerful few. Imagine a world where war and fear are a dark distant memory that gets harder and harder to remember by the day. Imagine a world where a black man can go for a fucking jog without some racist mouth-breather playing target practice at him. Imagine a world where everyone is completely free to BE who they are, LOVE who they want, and LIVE in peace.

How does that look to you?

Pretty fucking beautiful, yeah? Of course, you’d have to be a sociopath not to see that. I wish I could tell you I knew how to get there, but that would be a lie. I know that there are great things happening, but I also know the amount of change likely to come from them won’t be as much as we need. Nope, it’s just not enough. If we want a new, better world it’s gonna take a fucking revolution. More of everything, more eyes opened, more fists in the air, more hearts on fire for change. If enough people stop sitting down and taking all this shit we’d stand a chance to fucking heal this dying planet and make it a better place to exist.

I truly do, I wish I knew the answers. Maybe some of you guys LIKE to be led by idiots straight into the mouth of destruction, I mean- just look at the fucking MAGAs as evidence of THAT fact. I think we could create a world that provides bright futures for EVERYONE but it will take a COMPLETE overhaul and that means nobody can keep sitting down. We gotta stand the fuck up for ourselves because NOBODY else will. Don’t believe me? Just hop on your phone and have a look at the news.

Sorry, had to. 🙂

Yeah, one quick scan of the news is enough to make anyone with half a fucking brain realize that these people don’t give one single solitary FUCK about you, me, our kids, our fucking dog- none of us. They don’t give a shit about anything other than money, production, and getting their asses re-elected. Period.

I feel like I’m talking in fucking circles, and I feel like that every time I open my mouth these days. I just don’t know what more to say, we need so much change and healing to make this world feel like home again, if it ever did in the first place. I don’t know, I’m just trying to get through it all just like you. I’m not having the easiest time of that right now, and I guess it’s easy for my thoughts to get fractured into a tangled mess in this state. I’ll forgive myself, and you should too. The world we lived in before is dead, it’s not coming back, and right now there isn’t TRULY very much changing about the things that got us here to start with. Racism, poverty, violence, ignorance, discrimination, all of the fucking above- it’s all still here. We really do have the power to change it, but are we willing to stand up and do what it takes? To fight to upend the system from the fucking ground up?

Think about it like this: Right now, you’re probably under SOME kind of stress related to COVID-19, or all the other shit going on in the world. You’re probably balancing work, kids, safety, sanity, and health like a juggler only you’re not a fucking juggler. Jugglers are weird.* You’re a person trying to make your way though daily life. What’s Jeff Bezos doing? Patting himself on the back in a fucking monstrosity of a house somewhere, not giving a FUCK about you or the fact that he could single-handedly eliminate homelessness in America with the mass of his fortune.

What are other awful rich white people doing right now? Pulling guns on protesters who are just trying to stop RACISM. What’s our President doing? Golfing. Igniting conspiracy theories. Lying. Costing lives. Eating cheeseburgers naked probably. What are the celebrities you worship with such devotion up to? Some of them are singing to us from their multi-million dollar homes about unity, how generous! Some of them are telling us to vote, what shocking news!

I’ll say it again, where the fuck is Bono in all this shit?

Seriously, we couldn’t get fucking rid of the guy and his 24-hour sunglasses a few years ago and now the dude is a fucking ghost. Whatever, I digress. I have zero answers, less than zero patience, and my nerves are completely shot. I feel accomplished these days if I can just make it to lunch without rage-biting an inanimate object to expel my frustration. Punching walls is SO passe after all, I’ve moved on to rage-biting. It helps, and if you grew up in the 80’s like I did and you NEVER bit your NES controller before throwing it across the room after dying in teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles one too many times I’m afraid we can’t be friends. Or maybe I was just misdirecting my abandonment issues, that’s entirely possible.

See, talking in more of those circles again. I’m out, the only summation I can offer is this- we need more healing and understanding than anyone realizes right now, and while I don’t know all the answers, or maybe even ANY of them, I just know that my heart won’t let me stop thinking about that better world, where everyone is safe and sound, and hatred no longer has a place with us. Where STOPPING A PANDEMIC is more important than keeping “human capital” showing up to their fucking jobs so the money can keep flowing like a waterfall. I can see it, it’s blurry and SUPER far away- but we can get there. There’s just a FUCK-ton of resistance needed and I’m completely down to try to figure it out with you. For now, I’ll leave you to your day but let’s start talking. Reach out, drop a comment, start a conversation. Let me know that there are other people out there thinking like us, scared like us, and just trying to get through the day without losing it like us. We’re here and we will be until America goes full-Orwell and I’m thrown into some dungeon for being a rabble-rouser or whatever the fuck the case would be in 2020. Be kind to each other out there, and wear a motherfucking mask.


*When I said “jugglers are weird” it was very much tongue-in-cheek. I mean, they ARE, but so am I. Figured I’d disclaimer lest I draw the ire of the online juggling community.

A blog/website where these happily married, 30-something parents of 2 little minions rant, rave, and speak in tongues. Raw, honest, and riddled with profanity. Get on board and let’s make The Ghost Generation awesome together!

The Ghost Generation

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