Greetings, Ghosties! We’re currently hard at work on what I’ll call “The Ghost Generation: Phase 2” cause I just CANNOT be the kind of guy that says “something or another 2.0” cause I typically desire to slap those dudes vigorously. Anywho, we’re hustlin’ behind the scenes and it’s taking up a respectable chunk of time and mental energy (in a good way) so I’m trying to remind myself that I still need to write shit.

The fact that my brain even works AT ALL right now is frankly fucking miraculous.

I’m also currently out of steam to rant and rave about current events, it’s been such a drain on my mental and physical well-being that I just don’t have it right now. We were sitting here a few minutes ago contemplating leaving the fucking country in Captain Dingleberries gets re-elected so it’s plain to see that we’ve reached a very real breaking point, like a lot of you probably have too.

So, fuck it- I’m gonna talk about my cute-ass puppy, my cute-ass kids, and how they’re somehow helping me not go completely off my face in 2020. I’ve heard the interwebs like lists, or listicles, or whatever you want to call them, so I’m gonna give the people what they claim to want and rattle off some shit that’s on my mind. You’re welcome.

  • Whoever coined the term “listicle” really ought to fuck off from humanity forever. It’s become a real thing now, and it sounds WAY too close to “testicle” and I’m just not in the frame of mind to think about balls every time I make a list of things for a post. See, I’m thinking about balls right now, and I’ve also become hyper-aware of my OWN balls too. Great, this shit is nuts.
  • Moving on from balls or whatever- so our little wonder-pup Winnie has been with us for three weeks as of today. There have been a few “slam my head in the fridge door” moments but overall she has been an absolute joy. She’s stubborn as shit, but so is everyone else in this house so she fits right in.
  • When she wakes up in the morning, or from a nap, she makes this FUCKING ADORABLE sound when she yawns and it turns all of my insides into marshmallows. Big fluffy pink ones. She’s a Shiba Inu and I’ve heard this is something people have called “the Shiba scream” cause apparently it gets louder as they get older- but right now, it’s this cute little thing and it absolutely wrecks me.
  • 2020 has laid completely bare the fact that I’m a much more anxious and impatient person than I realized, and I’ve been FULLY aware of it for many years- so that should tell you how much thin ice my psyche is walking on right about now. The thing is, I love my kiddos, but toddler behavior drives me up the fucking wall and back a thousand times over. I also love my wonder-pup to itty-bitty pieces, but sometimes it’s hard to forget how football-sized she is when she starts chewing on my favorite pillow. Something I didn’t anticipate though, is that I’m actually BEGINNING to let go of shit and be a LITTLE more patient. Don’t go nominating me for any Nobel Peace Prizes just yet, but I’m happy to be able to report at least a small fraction of increasing patience for the little creatures in my life. With two little kids and a puppy I’m having to be OK with the fact that I’m almost constantly looking after someone that isn’t named “my sanity” and it’s an exercise in selflessness that I realize is probably much needed, now more than ever. Every day isn’t perfect, but like I’ve said before, I’m a lifelong work-in-progress and I don’t want to be the guys that’s constantly yelling at a small thing.
  • Winnie eats her own shit. That’s probably uncomfortable to hear, but it’s fucking true. It’s also completely normal for a pup her age, she’ll grow out of it in a few months if we’re lucky and it doesn’t seem to fuck with her in any way so I figure if she’s mentally stable enough to handle ingesting her own fresh feces who am I to judge? Plus, if we happen to forget to bag up a poo it’s usually gone in a couple hours so she’s nothing if not efficient in that regard. It’s just not the best thing to watch happening, the relative ease with which she guzzles her own doo-doo is mildly disturbing at best, and it can really turn an appetite to…pardon the pun…shit, and fast. Did you need to know this? Nope, but now you do!
  • BREAKING NEWS- she also had her first bath today, and it WASN’T a total catastrophe! In fact, it was pretty much like everything else about her- adorable as shit. She took it like a champ, and when we were finished I took her out and wrapped her in a towel and, well….here…
See, it’s fucking annoying how cute she is. 🙂
  • Like I said before, I’m trying to grow as a person, be more patient, and learn to let go. It’s not easy with a brain like mine (which counts anxiety, depression, AND misophonia in its esteemed cocktail of wonderment), but the more I try the better it gets. I’m only hitting this point again because I PROMISE you this: shit is gonna get A LOT worse before it gets better, for all of us. Between now and “God knows when” we’re gonna be faced with a myriad awful things that we have absolutely NO control over, and it’s going to constantly threaten our already-fragile happiness. We gotta stand strong though, because I’ll be damned if I want to see this year take anymore than it already has. We can do this, but vigilance is key. Check on your people, check on yourself, take a breath, walk away instead of yelling, STOP READING THE NEWS EVERY FIVE MINUTES, AARON, go for a fucking walk, donate to charity, get a puppy- whatever, just keep yourself in the frame of mind that you gotta let shit go that’s out of your control, and you gotta grab the things you CAN control by the listicles and get shit done. I really do swear we can all come out of this shitstorm with our lives at least somewhat intact but we need to all acknowledge that it’s not gonna be coming up roses anytime soon- so go ahead, Ghosties- have that 10 AM Old Fashioned, unless you’re an alcoholic, in which case go for a nice jog. Gotta cover the bases. 🙂

I guess that’s all I have for now, we’d love to hear from YOU and find out how you’re doing in the world’s worst year, so use that comments section and reach the fuck out. We don’t bite, unless provoked. Stay safe, don’t be a dick, and don’t be an idiot.

Talk to ya soon, Ghosties.


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